Showing posts with label Dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dating. Show all posts

Monday, June 4, 2012

Miss Independent

Yesterday on my drive home I noticed that I'm a bit of a psycho driver. I'm not quite ex-matatu caliber but am well on my way. The crazy stunts I've pulled have me wondering and I even tinted the car windows so that men don't realize they've been out-maneuvered by a chick (for some reason that really winds them up).

I think it has to do with being used to doing things for myself. I open my own damn doors and fetch my own darn paper. I change my bulbs and shall open that jar if it is the last thing I do (which is why I need to buy things that have loooooong off expiry dates). I draw the line at changing my tyre ... and pumping it for that matter. Push came to shove, I could, but why sully my hands when there are so many young men willing to help?

In my mind, the above independence (if you'll let me call it that) doesn't work in favour of my getting hooked up. Why? Well it's so 2nd nature, that you just don't realize that the date who had initially wanted to drive you to the venue was left behind 3 roundabouts ago while you all but elbowed around with mats & proboxes for space as though you were competing for first place at the Rhino Charge!

My pal (a guy) says it has to do with age; the older you are the more comfortable you become in your own skin so you know what you will and will  not take. It's like if today some guy I were eying told me to do X or he would leave me I'd recommend Nakumatt (you need it we got it) as the store he should go to for the rope he should use to hang himself. I'm too proud & comfortable to take shit. Not to mean I can't bend (pun fully intended) just that I do not expect to be disrespected.

Maybe all the above is the reason why I'm single, but I'd like to imagine that there are men out there who are interested in the independent type. If not, well there's this blog ... and I can always park on the side of the road waiting for that other guy to catch up! :-)


Monday, March 5, 2012

Don't Pick!!!

Today I got a call from "Don't Pick!" I was in a meeting but couldn't hold in the chuckle. And the thing is, I don't actually remember who I saved that way. The only thing I know for sure is that it's a jamaa. I suspect it's the guy I met in a supermarket and in a moment of weakness, temporary insanity and looseness gave my number to. He begun bugging me almost immediately & as I'd unfortunately given him my main line, I had to figure out a way of avoiding his calls.I follow instructions so didn't pick.

Then there's "Avoid". This is the married man I once met while in the company of many who now feels that we should do coffee, watch plays, 'hang out' & hold hands. First, I prefer not to spend the valuable time of my early 30's looking taken. Then every minute spent with him is a minute not spent finding my own man. And what really does a married man want from a single girl other than exploring her great wit & intriguing conversation? Great though you may be, there is no benefit to my hanging out with you one-on-one.

A new entrant is "Miscellaneous Idiot". This is a guy who stood me up on some day and has since been trying to patch things up. His story went the way of the curly kit; died.

But don't blame me .. dating in Nairobi can be rather tough. There's a strange assortment of weirdos and people who just dumbfound you (like the guy who once told me 'You look like you have some cash ... I could date a woman with cash' - to give you a clue on this, the guy was just impressed that I had a job). Then there are all the cheapskates whose idea of a great first date is your cooking them dinner at your place (and perhaps hopefully thereafter giving them a 3 dimensional tour of your bed!) Then of course there are the brothers who take you to a petrol station to chew miraa and drink liquor while listening to music blasting from their Subarus (I swear I did not make that one up. Has happened to some girl pals & it just cracks me up. Seriously, they are sensible girls who were talked into a date at a petrol station .. and went!). Just cause it would be unfair not to mention them, there are those who feel like God's gift to womenfolk and let you know at every possible opportunity that you are indeed very very lucky that you have a slot of his time on that day.

I am a woman suffering.

Extra - I must end with this joke:
Whenever Jim's mistress calls him, his wife charges his phone. Why? Because he's saved her as "Battery Low" :-)