I was challenged to write something about women that wasn’t in any way negative. No ‘my life is so hard because I’m a woman’ brouhaha … It was much tougher than I expected. Why? Coz it’s so much easier to laugh at the strangely inappropriate than to state happy facts.
Well here goes happy fact No. 1: I like being a woman coz we have breasts. I said it. I mean, as a jamaa you can’t really go round with low cut jeans showing off your junk. That’s just crude, crass & disgusting. With boobies on the other hand, it’s a given. I happen to be happily endowed and am always at a loss at what I get away with because of them twins.
Happy Fact No.2: You must have no qualms about using your femininity to get what you want. I’m not telling you to sleep with the boss to get promoted (that’s so 1980’s – and besides, if you really must, aim for the boss’ boss’ boss. More practical returns .. but I digress). Wear that short skirt if it will make your meeting go better. Lash out into tears when confronted by traffic cops for making an illegal turn … while talking on the phone … with expired insurance. Hold the bulb under the sink to clean it so someone else jumps to your rescue to change the bulb (and spare you electrocution). There’s no shame in it. That’s my story & I’m sticking to it!
Happy fact No.3 is the miracle of motherhood. I’m not so blessed as to have kids but watching my mother friends, I’ve realized that the mother-child bond is like no other. It’s unique, beautiful and well worth the effort of the pushing. God bless all mothers.
Happy Fact No. 4 – it seems that the male child was forgotten somewhere in Kenya’s (not-so) recent past and as a result, there are now more upwardly mobile women. I’ve heard many a guy complain that the tables are terribly turned against them and that given a chance, an equal opportunity employer is more likely to hire a girl than a chap. It’s thus a happy time to be female.
Happy Fact No. 5 – we’re generally speaking cleaner, neater, safer & fresher to be around. That must count for something no? I’m reaching huh? Alright, give us a No. 5 that fits the bill!
This evening, smile at a woman near you & tell her she’s lucky.