The Neighbour's Man

My neighbours man is too friendly.

Ok .. I take 3 steps back. I have a new neighbour. She's quiet and generally keeps to herself but there's always the friendly 'hello' in the corridor. I recently noticed that a man seems to have moved in. That's quite fine seeing as flats do not a hostel make. But now I've noticed that he seems to be hanging out their door whenever I'm leaving/around mine. You can't really tell what he's doing there, but he's always eager to snatch up any morsels of conversation he can. By golly there's a day I all but ran away from him .. And he managed to catch up!

Why is this so terrible you wonder? Perhaps I should be flattered by the attention? Giggling girlishly at the door whenever I know he's near? No. The expression don't shit where you eat could not be truer here (yes I know you both eat and shit in the comfort of you own home, but work with me here..). I'll say it without apology: women are the worst.Terrible with a capital 'T'. And there's little worse than a woman who thinks you're trying to snatch her man away from her. Ask me, I'd know. I lost a friend who I'd considered all but a sister because my then man said she'd tried to her moves on him. Turns out he was lying (sorry girl) but the irreparable damage was done.

Now imagine me coming home to burning curtains because I paused to ask my neighbour's (good looking) gentleman friend for the time? No thank you! I'd rather be the neighbour he considers quiet & strange