Tuesday, July 17, 2012

The Gym

I recently went back to the gym to try and get rid of Pot. Yes Pot is described as a proper noun as it's the one companion (second to God) who I can confirm has been a real presence with and (in profile) by me for the better part of my life. And the thing with Pot is that at any given time he always seems larger than he was before. So my friend's advice was to befriend Pot as he shall certainly always be there.

Anyhoo, I went back to the gym and was immediately struck by the culture shock that always gets me there. You see I went to the kind of high school that enshrined privacy. Our showers were closed stalls with 3 walls and a door and we had doors to our loos. The only person who ever saw your boobies was the school nurse when doing her intrusive kneading & pinching in the name of a pregnancy scan. Because of this background, you’ll never find a picture of me jumping over a barrier without my undies like a certain ex-tabasamu celebrity who will remain unnamed (reason being we don’t know said name). The point here isn't so much chastity as it is propriety.

In the gym, I will not be the one prancing from the steam room in nothing but the skin on my back and sitting around chatting idly with the rest as I wait to cool down. Yet this is exactly what happens. Women of absolutely all shapes and sizes throw self-consciousness to the wind and bear it all, all the while conducting conversations on the latest political intrigues! Aaaahg! I don’t care to see your backside or so much skin in one room! I’m happy to sweat it out in the aerobics class followed by a non-traumatizing shower!

What I’ve come to do is block it out. I try very hard not to look at people in the nude. I’m a little anti-social in the gym I guess as in the process of avoiding eye-contact, I keep my eyes firmly on my gym shoes (which have a stain at the bottom right corner). How do I change in & out of my gear? I actually seek out a stall to change inners as necessary. I’m the one who carries a few items of clothing to the shower to change once done (and thus spends more time in there than is strictly appropriate). I’ve noticed a few hostile looks (“Kwani anadhani ana nini hatujaona?”) but let me be me and I shall let you be.


  1. In light of my borderline tendencies (sheepish grin), I'm not sure I should speak (ha!), but I also had an issue with random nudity, until my sister's wedding, they practically beat it out of me during endless dress fittings. Not a useful tale but...

    1. Male - female nudity is 100% acceptable, good & alright ;-)

      And I prance around my house without a stitch of clothing on (unnecessary details there)

      This other hadharani nudity just gives me the creeps ...

    2. Hang on, you prance where, how? If I put this together with the exhibitionist neighbour, the story gets much better...

    3. Lol!! Behind closed (and bolted) doors!