Monday, May 23, 2011

Singleness *sigh*

Single women are their own worst enemies. To explain: The other day I went out with 4 single girls to watch a play. After that, we went out on the rave. In all this time, we only spoke and interacted with each other and people we knew. How really do we expect to get men? How now?

On the other hand though, I was having a discussion with a pal of mine who met her husband while in campus and we agreed that things aren't the same as they used to be. Getting a man is so much more difficult now. You see, when you're both students you look at the world with starry eyed wonder and nothing but great hope and optimism in the future. You'll be the best darned doctor/accountant/lawyer/farmer/anthropologist that the world has ever seen and you will be married by 25 with 3 kids by 30. You will work on making the world a better place. And your potential success is not a problem. If say, your studying Actuarial Science, you may drop out, so you're not necessarily a threat to the boys.

Fast forward a number of years later after you're established in your carrier (not nice carriers like nursing which presuppose that you're a caring being .. let's stick with the actuarial science example - cold, precise, impersonal). The average dude, even in the same profession or doing better than you tends to be somewhat threatened by you. That's not even talking of the guys who perceive you to be out of their league. Then God forbid you should get yourself a nice car or (gasp) start paying a mortgage! By so doing, you buy yourself a slot in the 'untouchable' category .. right up there next to Martha Karua! A male pal explained that that is just too much pressure on a dude ...

So what to do? Stick to the 'I'm a tea girl'!


  1. hehe i can never understand why success on ladies part threatens men, material things are just that as for intellect, the more intellectual a woman is the more appealing to me. nothing like a intellectual challenge to stimulate a relationship.

  2. A friend of mine said that college is the only time the ground is level for boys and girls. Here I am, leaving college, with not even a college crush to speak about. Guess I'm doomed? Especially because I see the signs... I'm just 22 but I picture myself becoming an old maid with 13 cats in her apartment.

  3. A wiseman once told me that how you view being single & what you do with that time makes all the difference...

    I'm thinking, being in a wholesome relationship means being with someone who'gets' & loves you for being you and encourages you to step up to a whole different level of awesomeness & vice versa. Not make you feel guilty of your accomplishments...and if they do make one feel quilty, then one has no business being them, 'coz they'll just break your spirit in the long term. And that would be just tragic...

  4. I guess the rain doesn't fall in all places at once - I have a pal who's been searching for a long time for that special kind of successful lady who would appreciate him as an equal and share their lives and dreams together...The shadows of the day grow long (4os) and it is still to happen

  5. @Pitz nice to hear. Hope you won't run for the hills when the option comes up ;-)

    @Lostinthot, at 22 the world is your stage. You will fall in and out of love & do as you please! If there was no crush, so what?! There's time! Then again maybe that was my path & I shouldn't be giving the advice ... Perhaps I should seek out a cat ... :-)

    @ Nyambura, the wiseman ... was he single? If so I can arrange to avail my digits :-) Seriously though it just unfair that those would be considerations in the first place

    @Woolie that is so true. I have the world of single friends both male & female who seem to be out for the same things. My attempts at matchmaking have not born fruit though..