Monday, April 4, 2011

Childless Women

On Easy FM in the morning jana, their topic of discussion was childless women. The question was whether it was normal for a woman to consciously decide that she didn't want kids. Whether there was something innately wrong with her. The examples used were of women who claimed not to want kids because they make too much noise ... I've however chanced upon women who know that they won't have kids saying that they lack the calling or the interest. Most callers were of the view that those women are selfish and immature. Got me thinking...

In my case, I don't have kids and am not in a hurry to get any. I realize that with my biological clock ticking away, it may be too late by the time I settle down and am ready for them. And that doesn't really bother me. I figure that adoption is always an option if need be. I wouldn't want to end up like those jungus who have nothing but their dogs to care for in their old age, but are kids the ultimate prize? Isn't it mean to have kids just for the sake of it? Aren't there enough of them suffering out there? Isn't it also mean to be 50 year old parents of pre-teens?

Maybe it's just a private decision that should be left thus.


  1. I did not listen to that particular discussion on Easy FM (I generally avoid those kinds of programs on radio because they leave me depressed) - but I believe there are lots of reasons for not having kids. We are already too many and if some women opt not to have kids, the better for us. All said and done though, I don't think one should have a kid just for the sake of it, you must be ready to provide and bring up the kid. There are people who have kids and those kids have been the source of their misery, while there are people without kids but have lived fulfilled lives.

  2. kids iv come to learn should be a calling, n those who dont feel like they have it, should instead devote resources to help institutions that cater to children without means, that way they make a difference.

  3. I don't think its mean to be 50 year old parents of pre-teens. As long as one can bond with the children and provide the necessary guidance in life, all is good.

  4. A lot of women, probably due to social pressure, find having a child as part of what would fulfill them as a person.

    I have seen childless women who I believe would make wonderful mothers but I have also seen mothers who, aiii, I think it should be declared illegal for them to breed.

    Speaking as a parent of 2 boys, one now a pre-teen, I feel I am reminded on a daily basis of the heavy responsibility it is to have kids and the decision to have kids should not be taken lightly.

    I am also convinced that a healthy marriage is the best environment it which to raise a child.

    50 is the new 30? Oh, I didn't get the memo, but I like!

  5. Yes 5goodexcuses. With the over 30 dancing bendover in clubs, then 50 is the new 30.

  6. @Otieno H I quite agree. Give early morning radio a chance :-)

    @Pete quite true. Though I'm guessing that they can also give to other charities ..

    @5GE thanks for the insight. Parenting is quite a tall order for one to be peer-pressured into. I mean, I remember the story on news not so long ago of a 21 year-old changaa addict mother who was said to often leave her 1 year-old baby in the den as security for paying her bill. She proudly said "Huyu mtoto alinipata nikikunywa na nitaendelea!" ...

    @Shiko I had a class mate in high school who was terribly embarassed by her rather old mom. I'm sure she had other issues, but perhaps there was a point there. Maybe to better put my point across, I should have mentioned my 50+ year old workmate who married a spanky new young wife and is happily the father of a toddler. It happens buuut ...

    I like your 30-50 point of view coz it makes me 20 years younger :-) And the bend over phenomenon will never cease to amaze me.

  7. I feel that one should only have kids when they are absolutely sure they want children and are ready to have kids. Not because other people dictate so. I do not think having kids is for everyone and a lady who makes the choice not to have kids is wise in my books. Why? In the face of being frowned down upon, she's clear on the fact that she'd not want to short change a child who not only has no vote on who it's parents will be, but deserves the very best life has to offer.

  8. I think with kids or the need to have kids, whatever you tell yourself everyday-is what becomes. If you repeat it to yourself that it just isn't in you, then it never will be. I don't believe in some outside force overwhelming you into bearing chidren miraculously. Our confessions become our being so try not to get too attached to an ideal or to some moment, just leave your options open.