Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Unrequited Love

The Universe has conspired to keep me out of my own blog. Seriously. I can't post a comment. Not even as Anonymous! Anyhoo, on the question of loving the young, one word of advice: Don't! Life IS too short! :-) Don't get me wrong, if you're in relationship with a younger person and it's working, good for you. Just not my cup of tea.

But to today's tale. It's inspired by someone's comment that  I can unfortunately not point at (I'll be lucky if yin & yang let me publish this post). The question was, why do chicks hang on to bad/finished relationships?

Where to start, where to start? I'm a chick who's been in love and been loved, so let's use me as a guiding stick. Once upon a time, there was this guy who was everything I ever wanted in a man. Well not everything (deplorable English & didn't read anything other than the paper) but I figured that he was the man for me. Let's call him Dave. Dave was honest enough with me from the onset to be clear that we'd not be married with 2.2 kids. Not in this lifetime. Or in the next. He didn't come out and tell me but at some level I understood. I figured a couple 'that's not what he meant's and 'I can change him', but alas, it was not meant to be. By the time I got round to accepting the rejection, I'd fallen for him rather hard. It took all my courage to nip it in the bud and keep my distance. Though I'm one of the lucky ones, every now and again I have to stop myself from sending that text!

We all know sensible women who do the darndest things to be with some man they should simply let go of. I mean, I could write a book! And it's not that they have no options; my pal Mary got married while admitting that she was looking over her shoulder in case the man who had her heart should declare that he'd been mistaken to let go of her. It's just not that easy. The heart wants what the heart wants and it's very difficult to train it to understand that the object of its affections is just not interested.

If you've never been in this situation, count yourself lucky. If you have, join me in praying for the women we know who just can't seem to get themselves out of it. I think in this men are luckier; they just seem to have thicker skin and know how to bounce back.


  1. life can such sometime when heart and mind clash, and we both know that when the mind wins, its depression, when the heart wins, its pain

  2. I know what you mean. In my case, I just can't get over my first boyfriend. However, I always delete their numbers immediately we break up. This way, I can't call them! I know am a genius !!!!!:)

  3. been having problems commenting too.
    hey! I tagged you in a post http://wakarima.blog.com/2011/06/25/tagged/ waiting for your post :)

  4. Was away (long story) discovered Firefox, and have been allowed back to the blogosphere.

    @Pitz I know but what to do!

    @Kenyandating: but don't you remember the number off head like it's been emblazoned on the back of your retina!

    @Wakarima, gee thanks! Headed there right away!

  5. Been there and almost done that. Sprinted out in good time though. Out out and far away.

  6. When you are in a bad or so-so relationship it is hard to get out. You start convincing yourself that the good, out ways the bad. Once I found a good relationship, I realized the time I had wasted on the bad.

  7. @ Shiko you're one of the lucky few.

    @ MIC and the excuses we make up?! My word they're idiotic! But while in that state, anything goes .. Glad you found a good one. Enjoy it for the rest of us!