Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Phantom Relationships

I've read the Saturday paper and for a couple of weeks running, they have had a notion of what they term as 'Phantom Relationships'. Apparently you can be blissfully in love with the man of your life and checking off potential colour schemes and wedding planners while he considers you 'a convenient pal'. Now wait just a minute here! Isn't that just ... er .. so .. preposterously obnoxious  and ridiculous! What is this world coming to!

Ok .. let me take a few minutes to breath .. Done. To give you an illustration of why this is so wrong, let's take me. I'm 30-something and ready to settle down. I'm not interested in relationships that are not likely to lead to marriage unless were just talking friendship (no time to waste). There's black and there's white. So when I give my heart & all to this great man with who I expect to share my dreams and aspirations, how terrible it would be to find out that he was only in it for sport!

On the other hand, women need to be clearer on some things. It's not good enough to take his kind smile and easy going nature as an indication of commitment. And that he has had past difficulty settling down and is always busy out with the 'boys' should be a hint that all may not be hunky-dory. What's so difficult about asking? Really .. just ask. It's the conversation that men dread to have but I imagine that they only dread to have it with women they're not that interested in in the first place. (Been there, done that, had the T-shirt for so long I had to give it out)

Let's be real.


  1. I read that article and just did not know what to think. Ok I know. I kept thinking..... can't a woman tell?

  2. I know what you mean. And you're probably right that deep down in the recesses of our subconscious, we know that all's not well. We just choose to bury that nugget of truth under idealism and wish for the best. Also been there. Also done that. That T-shirt was worn, used as a rug and thrown out.

  3. I think women try to convince themselves that whatever they're in is IT. It would be much simpler if they just asked the guy wsup.

  4. I think that part of the problem is that some women think that they can manipulate a man into settling down with them, too much mexican soap operas. So you start planning your life with a guy even though he has not popped that question. All said and done, I believe that there is an age for exploring people but there is a time that you get the one you have been looking for and decide this is it...

  5. Kbaab you're probably right. And maybe they don't ask not to get the wrong answer ..

    Otieno H and would you believe that in this day and age women are still playing the old I'm pregnant card and hoping for the best? It just so happens that men have also been empowered and know how to walk away. On the time when the one I've been looking for is to come .. is there some sort of time plan? :-)