Monday, July 23, 2012

Settling

I find that a lot of my friends have gotten themselves into relationships. Contrary to what I may have expected of myself, I'm not actually jealous. It's sad being left behind in the "not-picked pile". Sort of makes me think of that movie that would always come around Christmas time about a train that carried orphans across the US in the hope that they would find families to adopt them. I think everyone gets taken in the end, but I always think how awful for them as they go along and contemplate their fate! What if they're never picked? Anyhoo, back to the line of thought, I find that a number of my friends seem to have settled. They didn't find the man/woman they would have wanted, so are making do with the ones they're with. (Of course some are ecstatically happy with partners presented to them by cupid himself .. (*curses under breath*))

I find this so very sad. I know I'm probably a hopeless romantic but, No! People shouldn't settle for anyone else than their hearts desire, should they? My pal recently told me he's aging (he's in his early 30's) and his Mama is convenient. He doesn't have the energy or the time to go around searching for a soulmate, so he's settling. We'll be taking mbuzi's soon. Another lady I know says she's now looking to be kept by an older married man. At 40, she doesn't still harbour dreams of finding her own man.

How do these relationships progress? Does say the Mama in my pal's case know that she was just at the right place at the right time? If she does, does she care? Is she just so glad to have a man that she let's this slide? Does this come to affect their sex lives with each partner seeking fulfillment elsewhere? Is this the phenomena that keeps Jimmie Gathu gainfully employed in his'Fikiria' campaigns? Again for the other lady, is there a shelf life? A sell-by date? What is one to do if they find themselves rapidly approaching it?

In a slightly related story, apparently women in the southern part of this continent find women like me (and as such most women in Kenya I guess) very selfish. How dare you declare you want a man all to yourself? What about your fellow sisters? Have you no concern for them & society as a whole? There are not enough good men to go round! Mscheeeew!!!

I say live & let live!


9 comments:

  1. Are they settling, or are they simply being pragmatic? I think by the time this decision is being made, they've figured out what it is they want and what they need. Your pal needs a wife, and the other pal needs...I'm not sure what she needs...companionship perhaps?

    We do what needs must to survive, just like your die hard romantic insists on waiting for the right person. Different strokes babes. :-)

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    1. But do you long uncontrollably for the other side of the fence? Guess pragmatism dictates that you make do with what you have. Just don't want to be 'made done' with!

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    2. They probably do, that's why we have so many cases of infidelity and marriages ending only a few years later, such like nonsense.

      As for you being the one who's 'settled for', that's unlikely to happen, you'll see it happening and run for the hills (such as one does no?), you've already decided that you're not settling, no matter what.

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    3. But we women are so useless! When starry eyed looking at X as your prince charming and all you want from life, you may not notice that he cringes a little every time he says your name ...

      In my next life I want to be a man :-)

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    4. We see only what we want to see. On the up side though, if you're not seeing the truth, then in your mind you're all good. Ignorance is bliss and reality is overrated.

      In my next life I want to be a llama (they look like generally happy ugly creatures no?).

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  2. i think if someone decides to settle it shld be someone you are comfortable with and can still look at them and nt regrt a moment
    in my group of pals am the only who is nt engaged,married or has a kid but am nt in a hurry .............as liquiddeep the group sings i wont settle for less
    Minnie

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    1. My pal once advised me (when I was thinking of getting into a relationship that I didn't really want to be in) that life had enough problems without our visiting them on ourselves. Her view was that I was knowingly inviting a life of misery upon myself. I also think the pressures around us should not be the deciding factor.

      Thanks for visiting!

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  3. Thank you Dr. Stanley for the Retrieve A Lover Spell you cast for me And I'd like to thank you for it. My ex and I have been back together for a month now. And it's been even better than before. I think this time it's forever. We've been talking of moving in together, and maybe getting married in the future. Things between us are great. I thank you for helping to bring him back to me. After our time apart, we've learned to appreciate each other more, and not take anything for granted. Thank you. drstanleyspelltemple@gmail.com after trying and falling through other spell casters and witch doctors i had lost hope , but i thank God for giving me the ability to find you to solve my problems i now can't imagine that my business is doing better than i thought and i will always live to praise you.... Chloe, south Africa

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  4. I don't think I'd be thrilled to find out that I was in the right place at the right time. It's just sad.

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