Sunday, November 11, 2012

Society's Unforgiving View of Singles

I've generally been settled if not a little apprehensive about my singly status, but all has generally been ok. I don't know if it's me, but of late I've been feeling the societal push on my back. Every where I go, it's this and that about marriage, couples, babies ... To be quite frank I'm getting a little sick of it all. To give you an example so you know I'm not just being a disgruntled single woman, let me walk you through a couple of instances in my weekend:

I was buying shoes and while negotiating price (I told him I didn't have the amount he'd quoted), the guy tells me na si I just call 'mzee' for m-pesa. And he goes on to give me a couple of choice tidbits about his own marriage and his wife's charming shenanigans. I smile politely and participate in the conversation, coz after all, who's not in a relationship? Right?!

I was drinking with some married guys and the conversation moved to something or other to do with family and when my opinion was sought a guy promptly chimed in "She wouldn't know; she's not a mother". I felt suitably slapped, took a deep breath and had a swallow. I know some may not understand why I was miffed, so I explain: unless we're talking about labour pains, I can have a comment on things parenthood as I live in society and pick things up. It's a bit like giving your opinion about paraplegics; you don't have to be one to have an opinion!

I went for a movie and the guy checking tickets at the door didn't quite hide his surprise as he looked around me and asked "1 only?" subtext: "You're alone???!!!??!! The horror!!"

The examples are many. And that's just this weekend! Point is, I have a hard enough time being single without having it rubbed in my face every step of the way. But I guess that's societies way of pushing for a balanced fully paired society!


  1. I get it, oh, how I get it! That said, I think some people are simply scared of what they don't understand, and they can't understand that someone would be single and unashamed, seeing as they consider being part of a couple the be all and end all. Different strokes and what not.

    So the Saturday papers that have gone all 'babies' on us? What the?

    1. Which begs the question: how did they live before they got joined at the hip? Maybe that's what I'll ask the next well intending idiot who throws this in my face ...

      As for babies, don't even get me started. Aren't there already magazines like 'Mum & Dad' and 'Parents' (if that's still in print) to address this market segment? What was wrong with the way things were. I hardly read the Saturday anymore for lack of anything to look forward to ...

    2. You haven't heard? They were nothing before they met their 'honey'. Yes, I am being sarcastic, no, I am not jealous, and yes, I do think that there may be something genuinely amiss with those people (this statement includes the Saturday papers geniuses).

  2. Oh how I hate eating out alone. The hostess always looks at me crazy, "a table for 1?" "Would u like to sit at the bar instead?" As if single people must drink and its a waste to give a single person a table.