Friday, February 4, 2011

Article on Desperation

Shiko has randomly reminded me of this article by Xege Harun from last weekends Saturday Magazine (Daily Nation). I pull out the relevant extract below:

Women peak at between 21 and 25 years. After that, it’s injury time physically and emotionally as far as romance is concerned. This is the window that make or break women’s entire lives. Rather than making hay while the sun shines, women in this age bracket ran around like headless chicken; walking in and out of relationships at will.

After 28, suitors disappear and the girl enters the next phase of her life. In this phase, she feels ready to settle down but the allure of youth that brought countless men her way is already fading. As she becomes desperate, she starts sending out signals to men that she is available. But these are the same men she had previously shunned and by now probably are already committed somewhere else.

But they will still come calling and because she is now eager to please, she will be used and then dumped in favour of those who gave these same men time and space when it mattered. After 30 years, fear sinks in and with pressure coming from family and friends to settle down, the standards are lowered even further.

She starts casting an eye on married men and eventually resigns to being merely ‘the other woman’. This turn of events can be avoided by being careful when you are at your peak. When this desperation phase comes, stay straight and well-mannered and conduct yourself with self importance. Some quality guy may still find you.


It's strange how society considers that the greatest concern for single women my age is their quest for a man. I'm honestly more concerned with my financial status and how to get my life on check. If a man whom I consider suitable comes along the way, great. But till then, I'm not consulting sorcerers or astrologers in a bid to find him.


  1. Hear hear what the author of that article says,

    'Ladies, if you have a penchant for the choice things in life, work for it'.

    For that statement alone I could kiss him I swear. Where is he?

  2. hehe shouldn't this article be a lesson for you, hmmm

  3. @Shiko, he may consider your act of apreciation as a sure sign of desperation.

    @Pitz, but according to the article, it's too late for me. Mine is to be polite and hope 'some quality guy still finds me'! Shindwo!

  4. such social 'rules' that dictate to women about how to be a certain way in order to get A,B & C by a certain age irk me soooo much, i itch to step over that drawn line and say, "HA! Now what are you going to do about it!"

  5. You make life after thirty sound scary. And here I am at that peak worrying more about finance and investments

  6. Oooooh Cesky Cess! Not me! Blame it on Xege (which is probably Chege made to sound (well look) gisty .. mid-life-crises?)Harun. The big secret is that nothing changes in the leap from 29 to 30.

    @Nyambura, tell me about it! The joy is to keep hopping over that line, so much so that it get's all smudged up and finally dissapears! :)