Tuesday, May 15, 2012

The One Without a Picture

Every day I go to bed feeling guilty about something I should have done but haven't. This blog has been on that list for some time. I mean I have so many stories to tell: The neighbour I saw naked, the time I almost got into 3 accidents because I woke up feeling like an ex-matatu driver, the return of the guy I'm crushing on (1) and (2)  (2 different guys .. I agree, I'm fickle), why it is impossible for ex's to remain friends, the crazy ways of the West African man, my camera mishap ...

Let's start with the camera incident. I was breakfasting at a hotel where I'd been staying for the week. If hotel food is fattening the breakfast is the absolute worst part. I love pastry and there are all these delicacies that I wouldn't usually let myself touch just laid out in inviting layers begging you to partake ... Then what's breakfast without eggs? Why bother having eggs without sausages? And the fruits? List goes on and on. So anyway, while I was happily stuffing myself, the most beautiful man I'd ever seen in person appeared and sat at the table across from me. I stared. Shamelessly. Ogled. He may as well just have walked off the page of the top 10 most handsome men ever. I watched him walk. Watched him pour his coffee. Watched him open his paper. I was happy (food completely forgotten).

Then I snapped back to reality. I needed photographic evidence. My friend says take pictures first and tell the story later. It's like you now .. you can't really get a feeling of just how good looking this guy was. Breathe of fresh air & cold cokes don't begin to compare. So I fished out for the new phone I was still trying to figure out, fumbled for the camera, lifted the phone so as to look as though I were just browsing through texts albeit at an oddly high angle, and clicked. That's when I remembered (and/or saw) that the flash automatically kicks in.

Mortified. You remember that neat thing Moses did with the red sea? Part it so the Israelites could stream through on their way to the promised land? How did I wish? Wa! I pulled an ostrich. If I can't see you (cause my head is bent down so low) you can't see me either. I hop skipped & jumped out of there, and that is why there's no picture accompanying this post!




17 comments:

  1. Hahahahahahahahaha......... I have a mental picture of you pulling the ostrich. I'll write a better comment when I stop laughing... Too good!!!

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    1. And this is unfortunately a true story. Crazy life indeed!

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    2. Now that I've calmed down I can ask, why would you think to take a picture of a stranger? That's a little creepy Ms Madam, you have stalker tendencies. :-)

      I'm sorry, I know it was 'can I just disappear now?' horrible, but I'm still laughing...

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    3. I blame it fully on the advice of my pal: pictures first, words later. As he was never meant to know, it wouldn't really have been odd .. no? Ok no!

      Horrible isn't the half of it!

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  2. The sight of a beautiful man in the morning. All nice and freshly groomed. What more could a girl ask for? Except a photograph of course?

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    1. At least before the photo incident I was in bliss ...

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  3. ha ha ha awkward and a little mortifying ...

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    1. 'A little' did you say?! I wished I could freeze time like that guy in Heroes (Save the cheerleader, save the world) and get out of there!

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  4. LOL! Next time be a little discreet though! By the way can I have your email address?

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    1. The flash was not by design .. My previous phone didn't have a flash at all so you can only imagine my shock at the lack of discretion ..

      And you're right ... I'm sure there'll be a next time :-)

      Technology is often lost on me so if you can show me how to inbox, you certainly can!

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  5. Lovely story, what happened to the picture that you took?

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    1. Would you believe the only thing you can see is my food with a phantom shadow at the back. After all my efforts!!! Money has been poured by my political detractors ...

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  6. hahahaha! Ati you did what??? I'd have loved to see the guy's expression! LOL

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    1. I tell myself he didn't notice. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

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  7. Too much spy movies have "corrupted" your thinking cap, what were you thinking?? I hope you pulled that ostrich stunt to earn the envy of... well, ostriches :-)

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    1. Would you buy it if I said I wasn't thinking? But alas I was ..! I'll get back on my meds now! :-)

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  8. Bwahahahahahaaaaaa....

    Wa!

    The last paragraph of that post is probably the funniest paragraph on the net! Aich. Thanks.

    That dude was staying in the hotel? Should have joined you at the table...

    Aich. That was funny.

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